The Model House Rules (Part III)

I'm sorry this took me a while, but here you go: The third and final part of my model casting show advice. (Though who knows, more may be added as the current season of Austria's NTM progresses and the new season of Germany's NTM starts.)

15. (and this may be the most important one of all) Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want the entire world including your parents, friends, teachers and classmates / other students at uni / people at your workplace to know. Not in the confession room, not in a quiet conversation with one of the other girls or one of the judges, nowhere. The juicier it is, the surer you can be it’ll be on TV. And if you’re not a finalist and maybe get kicked out after a couple of rounds, you will be going back to school/uni/work. And they will know. Because don’t doubt for a moment they aren’t watching the show to get some dirt on you. 

Here's an easy test: Imagine you’re at your grandma's birthday with your entire extended family, and then suddenly you get up on the table and say it. And then you go to school / uni / work and everyone’s gathered together and you go up front and say it in front of everyone.  And then you go to the shops, hairdressers and cafés you and your family frequent, and you tell them all. And if you live in a small town where everybody’s celebrating the fact that "one of our girls" is on this show, you better put up a billboard in the center of town and distribute flyers with this thing you’re gonna say. If you’re comfortable with that, go ahead and say it on TV, because that’s what the result will be. 

16. And on that note: If you have a boyfriend, he’s probably watching this too. Sure, there’s a time delay between filming and broadcast, but unless you want him to watch you make out with that hottie, don’t do it. It just leads to a tearful phone call that will of course be recorded and broadcast.

17. There will be a really gross challenge. There’s probably some creature involved that you really can’t stand. Either be prepared to do it or go home. Don’t be the one who is photographed with fear in her tear-filled eyes. That one usually goes home anyway so might as well save yourself the terror. 

18. There will be exercise. If you didn't before, make sure you start working out as soon as you start entertaining the notion of going on this show. You'll want to build up endurance and coordination. Because there will be this one challenge where they torture you in some way (running on a treadmill in heels or running up a ski jumping hill come to mind), and whoever loses gets eliminated or at least gets to pick their room last and is stuck sleeping on the couch.

Also, if you're a klutz like me, try taking some dance classes or gymnastics or something so you can at least fake grace because you will probably have to at some point.

19. There’s so much boring waiting time at these challenges and castings and photo shoots. I’ve only once seen a girl take a book with her. She seemed well-balanced and happy. If I were on one of those shows, I’d totally take a book so I didn’t die of boredom. Or something crafty. How cool would that be, having the whole country watch your crocheting/drawing/knitting/whatever? You could start a new trend.

20. This is a new one, courtesy of the current season of Austria's NTM: Don't lie about your age. Or if you do, make sure you do it so well nobody will ever find out. Don't, say, go to a casting and then when they ask you how old you are say "22" when even your comp card says otherwise. Because then they'll say "It says here you're 26" and then you'll say "That's my model playing age"* (actually, don't say that, at least try to seem contrite about blatantly lying), and then you don't get booked. Or ever invited again. 

* True story. 

We got a nice example of Rule 10 last week - okay, so it was 5am, not 4.30, and shockingly while they had to get downstairs in 10 minutes, it was just for morning exercise and they got to eat breakfast. Tsk.

We've also seen Rule 18 ticked in multiple ways - military obstacle course, ski jumping hill, kickboxing, swimming, diving, general running, treadmills placed so that if you quit you fall into cold water, and the inevitable dance challenge.

Since I added it because of this season, Rule 20 obviously got a hit. Strangely, there hasn't been anything seriously gross so far. And the only animals involved in a shooting were camels. (A spider had a small cameo but I'm not sure the girls even noticed because they were all looking at Zombie Boy.) Still, I expect that to change as the competition gets hotter.

That's the rules, girls! Got any to add? 

The obnoxiously know-it-all Nail Newbie