The Model House Rules (Part II)

Wieder mal auf Englisch,  aber über einige dieser Sachen hab ich mich in meinen Live-Posts schon ausgelassen - und der Rest wird sicher auch noch folgen :)

It's Thursday, so it must be time for a new installment of my Things To Do and Avoid on Model Casting Shows! (I'm working on the title...)

Last week we had rules 1-8, of which the current season of Austria's Next Top Model, 4 episodes in, has ticked 3 and spawned a corollary to a rule. Let's see how we do this week...

9. If you’re ill, they will tell you you should of course stay home from the photo shoot. They won’t force you, that would be unethical. But when decision night comes, you’ll be the one with no picture and that is important for the jury’s decision. You’ll probably go home. (I say stay home if you’re really ill, don’t go horsing around in ice-cold seawater with pneumonia or anything daft like that. Just saying.) 

10. Ya know, if I were you I’d lay out my clothes for the next day before going to bed because tomorrow might just be one of those days where someone comes banging at your door at 4.30am and tells you you have 5 minutes to get downstairs all dressed and styled. 

11. I’d also keep all my other stuff in the suitcase or hanging very neatly and accessibly in the wardrobe just in case you get one of those “we have to be at the airport in half an hour” things. Besides, someone will be bitching or gossiping about the mess in your room otherwise.

12. There will be a nude or next-to-nude photo shoot. If you’re not willing to do that, more power to you, but don’t participate in the show. Don’t be the one who goes home in tears because she doesn’t want to do the nude photo shoot. They don’t show the private parts on TV anyway. (Personally, I wouldn’t do it, but then I have no intention of ever being a model. Oh, and you can be a model without nudity, but you’ll have to do it without this show.)

13. There will be lots of girls around you all the time. Most of them will probably be annoying after a while. Personally, I couldn’t stand it, but if you’re going for it, just try and keep calm and don't respond to others’ kindergarten behavior.

14. The bitch never wins. She gets lots of air time and exposure and stays on the show for entertainment value way past her due date, but she never wins on these shows. Now Project Runway, that’s different. But if they win there, they actually have serious skillz. 

Ticked so far: 

- Rule 9 (you'd think she'd read my rules, she played it well: Went in, threw up in a bucket, focused, did the photo shoot, then went back to the hotel and spent the rest of the day in bed. That was pretty much an auto-pass to the next round. Didn't hurt that her picture was good though.)

- Rule 12: I left the rule as I had originally written it (quite a while ago), but I have to add that this apparently doesn't always go for all countries. They had their naked shoot on the third episode this time and all they were wearing was golden body paint. There was a lot of nipplage. Way too much. And not accidental nipplage either. There were a lot of carefully framed shots. And surprisingly they only blurred them on one girl (maybe because she was underage?). But weirdly enough, the next week (when they had another topless shoot, because, you know, one isn't enough? With a male model, no less, which is a rule of its own), everyone's got blurred. Dunno what's going on there but just in case, if you're going on Austria's NTM, be aware some parts may be shown on TV. (Note for US readers: While I find it's gratuitous and unnecessary, this is way less of an issue here than it would be in the US, where I assume it would be a scandal of epic proportions.)

- Rule 13 is sort of ticked by default. It's already getting very messy.

And that's just from the previous shows, tonight's episode hasn't even aired yet. I have high hopes for 10 and 11 though, since it seems from the trailers that they're flying to the US.

There's a few more rules that I'll share with you next week, and who knows, I might come up with a few more by then... or maybe you will?

The rule-making Nail Newbie